Oedipus Rex FF7
by VillainObssessedGirl
Summary: This is one version of Oedipus Rex written in a play form I did for Highschool. I can't decide whether to perform this one or the KH/FF7 Oedipus one. You all decide.


OEDIPUS REX

FINAL FANTASY

STYLE

Setting: Takes place in the city of Midgar which is plagued by geostigma.

Characters:

Oedipus Rex / Cloud Strife – Brandon Harris

Jocasta / Aerith – Brittney Walker

Shepherds / Body guards:

Reno – Emilee Simmons

Rude – Claudia Jasuo

Summary

Reno: The year is 2042 and the city of Midgar is being plagued by geostigma, also known as earthstigma. King Cloud and his wife Queen Aerith don't know why this is happening cause Cloud was stupid not to listen to me. I was in a bar when I saw him so I thought I'd do the kid a favor and tell him what was going on, but nooooo! He wouldn't listen to me. No one ever listens to Reno!

(Rude is offstage.)

Rude: That's cause you were drunk stupid! And only a person with only a third of a brain would listen to you!

Reno: Shut up Rude! That's my partner Rude. We're guards of the city. We used to be bodyguards to the late King Sephiroth, may he R.I.P., but someone killed him. I don't know who, but…..

Rude: Reno! Shut your yap and get back on patrol.

Reno: Guess I'd better go. Sounds like the baboon didn't have his banana today.

(Exit Reno. Now on the outskirts of town where we come upon the two rookie body guards Reno and Rude on patrol.)

Reno: Yo, Rude, my man. Where are you?

(Rude has snuck up behind Reno)

Rude: Right here.

Reno: WHOA! WATCH OUT RUDE!

(Reno had been so surprised that he hit Rude in the head with his pipe.)

Rude: What is it Reno?

Reno: Do you remember that kid that we found bout eighteen years ago? The one that was all tied up?

Rude: Yeah….. What about him?

Reno: Well, I saw him in the bar and I was thinking…

Rude: You were thinking!

Reno: Yeah. I do that a lot believe it or not.

(Flails the pipe recklessly around and Rude is barely dodging his blows.)

Rude: I knew it. The world is coming to an end.

Reno: Ha ha. Ignoring the 'Rude' comment, I was thinking that we should tell the kid bout who his parents were.

Rude: What about the prophecy? You know; the one that says the kid will kill his dad and marry his mother?

Reno: Prophecy shmophecy, as long as he knows.

Rude: With you telling him then it won't be pretty.

Reno: Jealous. (Exit Reno who drops his pipe.)

Rude: Oh brother. Well, I guess I better go with him. Otherwise he'll kill the king with his pipe or more likely annoy him to death.

Reno (offstage): I heard that!

(Exit Rude. Scene changes to the palace where Cloud is sitting on his throne moping.)

Cloud: Aw man, I really shouldn't have been walking my giant shadow dog while on an equally gigantic motorcycle. And I really shouldn't have been practicing my swordsman skills on those poor innocent peasants where the three roads meet. I hope the guy I sliced in half is okay. Lucky for me I got hitched the same day.

Aerith: Dilly dally shilly shally Cloud. Are you still moping about that peasant that you sliced? Its over and done with so move on!

Cloud: well, its not only that. Some drunken red head with a pipe in a bar had the audacity to tell me that my mom and dad weren't my real parents.

Aerith: Well Cloud you have to admit that you weren't so sober either.

Cloud: Yeah, but with all the stuff that has been happening it might be true. I mean Shinra said the geostigma plague was caused by the death of your late husband Sephiroth, may he rest in peace, and…. wait. How exactly did he die anyway?

Aerith: Its funny you should ask because he was also killed where three roads meet. Except we heard he was eaten by a giant shadow dog. Isn't that funny?

Cloud: Heh heh, yeah funny. You don't have any witnesses do you?

Aerith: Yeah. Some tall, dark and scary guy with shades by the name of Ruthe…. no, Rut, no…

Reno: Rude!

Aerith: That's it. Rude. (Claps hands together)

Cloud: Hey look. It's the drunken red head! Shut the gate!

Reno: He's the abandoned prince.

Rude: You! Aren't you the moron who was practicing with his sword while walking a giant shadow dog and riding a motorcycle at the same time?

Cloud: Crap. You mean that guy with the long silver hair was the King?

Chorus:

Cloud: Oh no. Could I possibly be the killer of King Sephiroth?

Aerith: Could Cloud be my former husband's killer and my son?

Rude: There is no doubt in my mind that he is.

Reno: Finally they're putting two and two together… I'm hungry. What's for lunch Rude?

(Rude hits Reno. End chorus.)

Rude: Yeah that was him.

Reno: Hey, I'm still out here and I want to tell him the best part.

Cloud: Okay let him in. you were saying? What is the best part? Tell me!

Reno: Maybe I don't wanna tell you cause you locked me out in the cold and I was left all to my lonesome.

Cloud: Tell me now or I'll feed you to my shadow dogs.

Reno: Alright, alright, alright. There was this piece o cheese, I mean prophecy that said you'd kill your old man and get hitched with your mom.

Aerith: That's silly. Sephiroth and I left that baby tied up in the mountains.

Reno: Well you did, but I picked him up and gave him to good old Meanie here to give to his Boss and Bossette.

Rude: Seems like its Reno's fault that all of this happened. What did I tell you about finding things in the wilderness?

Reno: To leave them there, but...….but…. Wait a sec. This means that crowny over there…. This is like that kid in Stacey's mom.

(Exit Aerith and Cloud)

Rude: More like an episode from Jerry Springer. Hey where did everyone go?

(Exit Rude) (Rude enters again)

Rude: Queen Aerith has passed out from shock and King Cloud has blinded himself!

(Cloud stumbles across the stage with a bloody blindfold on. He is stumbling and bumping into things. Reno smiles.)

Rude: What are you smiling at? Don't you know what this means?

Reno: Yeah. It means we get to clock out early today!

Rude: NO! It means that King Sephiroth's spirit will be satisfied and take the geostigma away. Midgar is cured!

Reno: Do we still get to clock out early?

Rude: You're hopeless.

Reno: That may be true, but I've been thinking…

Rude: Again? I've told you about that. Nothing good comes out of you thinking.

Reno: What do you mean?

Rude: Never mind. The list is too long. What have you been thinking about?

Reno: If there is no King then there is no one for us to guard so can we clock out early today?

Rude: Yes Reno.

Reno: Alright! Looks like we're clockin out early! (He's so happy that he hits Rude again with the pipe) Oops. Watch out Rude!

Rude: That's it! No more nice Rude! (Rude chases Reno around the stage with the pipe.)

Reno: I'm sorry Rude!

Rude: Come back here you red head rooster. I'm gonna smash your head to…..

(Cloud and Aerith have come back on stage and they try to hold back Rude.)

Cloud: Whoa you guys. The audience is still watching now hug and make up.

Reno: No way! He's trying to kill me.

Aerith: HUG NOW!

(Rude and Reno hug and Cloud and Aerith join in.)

All: Now this is how Oedipus Rex should have ended.

Reno: Wait, Rude didn't the kid we found have blue hair? Oh well.

THE END


End file.
